Hidden
by sekiho-chan
Summary: What happens if you keep your love hidden for too long? (SenRuSen)


Disclaimer: I do not own Slam Dunk or any of its characters. XD

A/N: My first ever SenRu fic! Yihee!! I dedicate this to soooo many people. For (user) aki midori. Her lovely fic entitled 'Celibacy' kicked my lazy arse to write this SenRu fic. For my sempai (user) chiy0. For (user) Chareon, who I recently met online and she's really sweet. For all yeh SenRu lovers out here. XD And also for MitRu lovers. XD Yeah, you read that right. Also for MitRu lovers. XDXDXD Lol.

Warning: Mushy stuff --cackles--

Pairing: SenRu --heart--

**Hidden**

Sendoh Akira walks along the street of their busy yet serene and peaceful city. He was finally going home, after having a miserable time during basketball practice and all that. What happened to him during practice is not important now. What's important is what caused him to be THAT miserable that he got scolded three times in a row by their team captain. Well, nothing much is troubling him. Just Rukawa Kaede, Shohoku's ace. It's only a "just" to anyone, but to Sendoh, it's everything.

_'Of all people, Akira! Why him?'_, he scolded himself. God, how should he know? It's not his fault the Shohoku lad is damn beautiful, talented and (without doubt) irresistable. No woman or man could resist the block of ice.

(---------------------------------------------------------------)

On the other hand, Rukawa Kaede was having the same problem. He also had a miserable practice and all because of Sakuragi. No, it's not because he's thinking about Sendoh. Hell, he doesn't even show the slightest hint that he actually knows the Ryonan dude. Nope, it's not Sendoh that's making him so miserable, it was the practice. So no issue about that.

He went home with a grumpy, peevish expression plastered all over his gorgeous pale face. He lazily went up to his room, shut the door behind him still with utter gentleness despite his misery and plopped himself on his soft, comfy bed.

(---------------------------------------------------------------)

On the other side of the world, the Ryonan dude was also plopped on his bed, hands behind his head and eyes dully staring at the ceiling. He gave off a long, heavy sigh and this nasty sensation occured inside him-- that he's missing someone. A boy named Rukawa Kaede at that. He grabbed the little stuffed kitsune on his bedside table, and as if it would respond, he talked to it.

_'Hey there kitsune-chan. It's been almost a year already, ne? Since I told Rukawa-kun that I like him. Iie. That I love him. Too bad he's too cold to respond to it. Too cold to even think about it. The world can be so cruel at times, don't you think, kitsune-chan? Good thing I have you. You remind me of Rukawa-kun, ne. You're alike in many ways. You're both lifeless and heartless. You don't respond whenever I talk to you. You just stare at me as if I'm a kid-eating jerk. The only difference is that you're beside me right now. And, sad as it is.. he's not.' _

He gave off an agonizing sigh, yet again. How he misses Kaede. True. It has never been _them_, but he still misses him. The poor smiley face loved Rukawa and still loves him until now, more than ever.

(---------------------------------------------------------------)

_'Sendoh Akira..'_

The same name was what played over and over again like a broken movie clip inside Rukawa's mind.

_'Tell me again why I'm thinking about him'._ echoed inside the ice prince's head. It was either because he suddenly had this feeling to rummage through his things and in the middle of his little rummaging activity, he stumbled upon the 'love letter' Sendoh gave him a year ago-- a declamation-of-his-love-for-him letter rather, which he's clutching in his hand right now.

THAT.. or he misses the smiley face dope.

_'Fuck my life. How many times have I told myself to forget about that bastard? I lost count. In fact. I'm not really counting, but still.. Oh just fuck off, stupid thought.' _

A sigh.

If only..

".. hearts didn't have to fall."

He whispered. Those were the last words Sendoh wrote on that cursed (according to Rukawa) letter and it just wouldn't leave Rukawa's mind in peace.

_'If only hearts didn't have to fall.. How cheesy. Yet, I wonder..'_

He scanned the letter again, with an unexplained expression in his eyes.

_'What could've been if I told him how I really feel for him..'_

What he really feels for him? Oh boy.

_'Would I be in his arms right now? Would he annoy me like hell with his irritable yet heart-warming smile? Would he be beside me right now, comforting me because of my miserable day? Wouldn't I already know what life is?'_

Questions hammered in his head like hell, as a cold tear trickled down his pale cheek.

_'I guess not. Because I'm too goddamned cold. Why? Why do I have to be this cold? Cold, to the point that I rejected Sendoh Akira. The only man who understands me. The only man who strives to make me happy despite my bastardic attitude. The only man who made me realize what this thing called "life" is.'_

_'Akira.. I loved you. And I still do, dammit. More than ever.'_

If Rukawa told Sendoh how he feels, would the Ryonan lad be comforting him right now? Definitely.

.. but Rukawa never did. He never showed even the slightest trace that he loved him.

A love that could have been.

A pity, it truly is.

(---------------------------------------------------------------)

As the moonlight gently cradled Sendoh to sleep, half-lidded, he stared at his stuffed kitsune-chan now resting on his bedside table again.

_'Kaede, I hope you hear me out. It's okay for me to be your friend. That is if you even consider me as one. A friend is better than nothing, right? But what hurts me so much is that although I love you far more than anyone could ever imagine..'_

A sigh.

_'.. that's all I'll ever be.'_

And he slowly closed his eyes before his tears fall down. Those tears that had been always kept hidden for nothing.

(---------------------------------------------------------------)

There's always another rising of the sun, right? Another rising sun means another day. And to Sendoh, that's another day without Rukawa. But he just has to move on. He just has to endure everything-- with basketball, his friends, his inanimate stuffed kitsune-chan.

.. and with Rukawa, loving him secretly.

Too bad. Sendoh never got the chance to know about it. And he never will.

It's hidden love, remember?

Loving someone who doesn't love you back isn't wrong. It's undeniably painful, though.

But keeping your love hidden is a very big mistake.

.. you'll lose everything.

.. especially the one you hold so dear.

_**O w a r i :(**_

* * *

A/N: The phrase 'If only hearts didn't have to fall' came from The Calling's song called "If Only", btw. XD So credits go to them at that. 


End file.
